Pulled myself up by the boot straps

I first want to say "Sorry" for not writing on my blog for over 7 months. I have personally gone through a lot and it just took some time for me to even feel like writing. Not long after the New Year my family lost an important family member. We all knew this day would come and yet when it did, we were not ready.

I was crying on Skype while talking to my mother and she said "You knew this could happen while you were in Denmark." But that was not why I was crying, I was crying because of guilt. I was back in the States for Christmas and New Year; if I pressed my boss for more time off; if I spent more money; I could of seen him before he died. It was because of this guilt that I spent $2000 on a flight home. I might not have been there to say "Hi" but I was going to be there to say "Goodbye".

 I think this is about the time when reality (and a bit of depression) of how far away and how much I am missing my family set in. I have always lived a fair distance from my family but never on the other side of ocean. True, I can Skype with my family every day but I have to go a full year before I get a hug.  After the funeral I really missed those hugs and just the company my family gives me.

 After the funeral things at work here in Denmark got really busy and by the time I got back to my apartment I was so exhausted I went straight to sleep. This process of continuously being busy continued for months when I finished one project I would have to go to the other.

 In the spring a few people back in the States who I am very close to were going through a difficult time. Here they are crying or upset during the Skype call and all I can say is "Imaginary hug".  I felt so useless,  I can send cards, I can email them, I can talk to them but I can't truly be there for them, I can not give them a hug and tell them in person that it will ok.  It was so frustrating for me. I was seriously considering just quitting and coming home.

"What would that accomplish?" he said. "Yes, having you here would make everything so much easier for me. But then I would feel guilty that I made you quit. And you will feel regret for leaving your PhD. Stay there. Finish."  Sometimes it is a good thing to have someone snap some sense into you.

When summer started other people began asking if I want to go out on trip with them. In June, R and I had a great time at Egeskov Castle. We actually had our own little adventure just getting to this castle.

Egeskov Castle in Fyn.

This fun trip with R reminded me exactly why I am here in Denmark. I am not just here to work and then leave with my PhD. I am here to live and I here to see and experience things that others can only imagine.  After that trip with R, I started to pull myself out of this little funk. I started to actually leave my apartment more, instead of locking myself inside.

 And with the better weather and my better attitude some of my girl friends and I had relaxing outings in Copenhagen. And with the continued good weather I plan to do more sightseeing but mostly around Denmark right now.  Of course, I am still really busy and sometimes I can not take a whole day off and go sightseeing. On those days were the weather is great but I had to work, I would work hard, leave work around 4pm, go the local cafe, order a drink, maybe a snack and sit in the sun while reading my kindle.

 I have successfully pulled myself up by the boot straps and back out there enjoying life here in Denmark. So with this I will restart posting my adventures and sometimes my daily life in Denmark.

I love you all.